Chain Of Love
by gammaraygus
Summary: John is on longterm assignment and writes letters to Shayera. Set in the Unequally Yoked universe. Contains spoilers to that story.
1. Chapter 1

Chain Of Love – Part 1

My love,

It has been nearly three weeks since we last communicated. I miss you and the twins terribly. I hate this assignment. You have always been better at undercover work than me. I guess it goes back to your detective days on Thanagar. I'm just an old grisled soldier that would rather settle things out in the open. I hate sneaking around. I hate pretending to be something that I'm not. I hate lying. Have never been good at it. And frankly, I don't think I ever want to get good at it either. But I digress. How are my babies? That includes you by the way too.

Anxious to get home Shy. As much as I miss you I worry about you even more. How is the new security system working out? I know you think it's overkill and you maybe right, but it gives me great peace of mind to know that unless you-know-who goes rogue, no one is going to breach our privacy again. I long to hold you and the twins. Want so badly to do the mundane things like putting them to bed, reading them a story. Never thought I would miss changing diapers so much. I should have taken a longer leave of absence. I should have enjoyed our time together more. So sorry I took it for granted love. Won't make that mistake again.

Well my time is short and I have to close. Give Rex and Alex a big bear hug and sloppy kiss for me. Save one of those for yourself too. You are never for from my thoughts. Counting the hours until I see you again. Love you Red...

Your beloved,

John


	2. Chapter 2

My dearest John,

Was so wonderful to get your latest letter. I too miss you incredibly. More than I thought I would honestly. The twins miss you too. They are uncannily aware that daddy is away. They have their father's intuitiveness. They also have their father's stubbornness. Caught Alex and Rex both trying to "fly" off the top of the steps again! Of course Alex is the ring leader and Rex just follows after her. He so desperately wants to flap his wings like she does. I love that they get on so well John. Not that I would expect different, but you should see Rex and how he dotes after his baby sister. I hope they always stay this close. Am sure as they get older, he'll claim his seven minute head start entry into the world makes him the "big brother". I have to admit tho', I am getting a little concerned about his wing development or lack thereof. It's common for Thanagarian females to develop faster than males, but Rex's wings appear a little undersized. I'm sure its nothing, but I think I'll take him to the Watchtower next week for a check-up.

Besides the day-to-day activities, things here at home are normal. Not to worry love as the security system is working perfectly. We've had no other instances and although I hate to admit it, I do feel better now that we have it. I miss you John. I want you home so badly. House seems empty without you here. I got spoiled during your leave of absence. Can't wait to feel you next to me again. I long to hear your snore, to feel the warmth of your body, to hear your laugh, to enjoy your touch. Have been trying to fill the house with your presence. Finally used the music server and have been listening to your Sam Cooke, Temptations, Jackie Wilson, Ella Fitzgerald and old blue eyes collections. The music brings a smile to my face because it reminds me of you. I close my eyes sometimes and there you are, as always, singing along to the music…badly.

So miss you John. I know you hate your current assignment, but I suspect it's not the mission so much as this is the first time since Rex and Alex were born that you've had to be away from them for an extended period of time. I'm sure it will be difficult for me when…if I return to active duty. Yes, there are times when I'm here with the twins that I consider hanging up my mace. Don't stress on that John. We can talk about that when you get home. So come home soon my love. As always be safe!

Forever Yours,

Red


	3. Chapter 3

My dear Shayera,

Was so glad to get your letter. Had forgotten how much I love your handwriting. You have such a wonderful combination of beauty and strength in your writing my love. The way you curl the tails on your 'g's and 'y's and draw those dots over your 'a's, brings a smile to my face. Miss you Shy. Me, as you can tell, prefer to print. I haven't written in cursive in so long that it would probably be unreadable at this point. Maybe I should have been a doctor. Speaking of life decisions...

I'm not shocked nor stressed that you are thinking about retiring Shy. I'd be lying if I didn't say I haven't been thinking the same thing. Yes, believe it or not, there are times this old soldier is ready to fade away. Not tired of fighting love, I'm just tired of not being at home with you and the kids. When we are together, I have a peace and joy that is indescribable. And I want to experience that all of the time, not just some of the time.

I long for normalcy Red. I know, I know, that is a strange thing to hear from me. A guy that can manipulate reality with just his thoughts by using a ring that gets recharged via a lantern in a pocket dimension. I laughed aloud and shook my head just writing that! The sad part is that we are so used to the "fantastic" that it has become "normal". The problem is that it really isn't. This has become so clear to me now that we have children. When I put Alex and Rex to bed, I sometimes sneak back into their room and just stare at the beautiful innocence on their sleeping faces. I want that innocence to last Shy. I want "normal" for them. Well, as normal as it can get for children with wings growing out their backs. God I miss you.

The more I think about it Shy, the more I've come to realize the whole "security" thing was more about me wanting to create a cocoon of normalcy more so than my safety concerns. Don't get me wrong, of course I'm concerned for you and the twins, but the length to which I've gone is probably, as you stated, obsessive. I just don't want anything "fantastic" to happen to you. I know I can't protect you from life itself. And I don't want you and the twins living in fear, but I couldn't bear it if anything were to happen to you my love. God, what a hypocrite I am! Here I am expressing my concern for your safety, yet I have voluntarily put myself in danger by taking this mission. Not that this mission is any more dangerous than the others, but I guess I'm just struggling with my duty to "the league" and my duty to "our league". At what point does it become irresponsible to continue in this line of "work"? I don't know Shy. I just don't. I do know one thing. I love you and the kids more than life. Would happily give mine to protect you. And I guess at the end of the day that is what keeps me doing this. In some small manner I see this as a way of protecting the things I love. A wise man once said that evil triumphs when good men do nothing. I'm not sure I qualify as a "good" man, but I know evil when I see it. And as long as it exists, I am compelled to fight it. So I guess this old soldier isn't quite ready to fade away just yet. Probably just in time too because I can already see you creating a massive honey-do list for me.

I miss you Shy. You are never far from my thoughts. Can't wait to hold you again. Kiss the kids for me. Oh, please let me know how Rex's checkup goes, although I'm sure he is just fine. Don't stress. Love you Red. See you soon.

John


	4. Chapter 4

Dearest John,

When are you coming home my love? Missing you like crazy. It has been too long. Love getting your letters, but they are a poor substitute. Need you here with us. Need you here with me. Sorry for sounding like this, but getting bad vibes about your mission. Need to see you. Need to know that you are safe. I've been overly concerned about you lately, but I don't know why. I guess your protective nature is starting to rub off on me. J'onn thinks I may have some latent telepathic ability. Actually, he thinks all Thanagarians have some dormant telepathy. He thinks it could explain why our minds are so hard to read. Stop laughing John! I know you are making some smart ass remark right now. I miss you love.

Finally took Rex in for a checkup. Got Wally and Linda to watch Alex. They are such a great couple, but I swear John, if Wally calls the twins his favorite chocolate cherubs one more time, I am going to kill him! Actually its kinda funny how fatherhood has matured Wally. Oh he still tries to put on that he is the same brash young hipster of old, but the eyes don't lie. You can see the seriousness in his eyes. In some respects his personality has stayed the same, but now there is responsibility in both his tone and actions. Well, at least more so that it used to be. Anyways, Rex's checkup was great. And although it shouldn't, that bothers me. He is the picture of health, but my instincts tell me otherwise. Can't put my finger on it, but something is not quite right with his wing development. Gonna have Mr. Terrific run some additional tests.

Was so glad to know that I wasn't the only one considering retiring. As usual, however, the soldier in you comes out and you talk yourself back into active duty. I understand your motivation to continue John - to fight the good fight. Before you were a lantern you were a Marine. I really do understand, but at some point we have some hard decisions to make. I'm not sure its such a good idea for both of us to be in a high-risk "profession" considering we have young children. We've never talked about it, not at any length really, but what happens to Rex and Alex if something happens to us? Whom is going to raise them? Whom do we trust with our greatest joy? I know its sobering to think about, but this is a discussion we have to have my love. Nothing to stress too much on John, but something to keep in mind when you get home.

Speaking of getting home, I miss you John Stewart. The kids miss you too. "When is daddy coming home?" is a question I get from Alex about four or five times a day. She is definitely daddy's little girl. Rex has his mommy so he is fine. Don't worry, he isn't becoming a momma's boy. Okay, maybe just a little, but he's so cute I can't help it. Of late they've both been getting up in the middle of the night and getting in bed with me. With one on each side I've been a mommy sandwich about three times this week. Wouldn't trade it for the world. Only thing better would be you in bed with us.

I love you John. I love our life. Need you with me. Miss our walks to the lake. Miss you holding my hand. Miss you stealing a kiss. Miss you mmmm. You'll have to get home to know what that mmmm means. Oh well, I've rambled long enough and I'm back where I started – needing you. Be safe and get home soon. Mommy needs daddy!

Yours,

Red


	5. Chapter 5

Dearest Shayera,

I'm so sorry for the delay between letters. Have been pinned down for weeks waiting for my target. Made great strides toward apprehending the fugitive this week and hope to be home soon. I hope you haven't been too worried. Terribly miss you and the twins. Want so badly to be home enjoying all of you. Being out here is lonely, but allows me to reflect and ponder on so many things. One thing that needs no reflection or ponderment is my love for you. Literally ache not being with you. I know I say it a lot and I know it embarrasses you, but you are my angel. The joy I have when we are together is indescribable. You are and will always be the one Red.

From the moment I met you, those many years ago, I knew you had "it". I'm just thankful that you had "it" for me. You are my friend, my lover and a wonderful mother to our children. I know it is morbid to think, but I hope I pass from this life before you. I cannot bear the thought of losing you. I wouldn't know how to go on. But you know that already. You've known that since that night on the cliffs - the night you confronted me about treating everyone like "soldiers". I gave myself away when I said I would give my life for you. It was an honest answer, but it was my subconscious doing the talking. I loved you then, I just hadn't consciously realized it. The silent expression on your face for those few seconds gave away your feelings too. Oh you tried to play it off when you said "you don't know what you're saying", but I knew at that moment the cat was out of the bag. It was out of the bag for the both of us.

Oh Red, I need to get home - home to you and the children. How are they? Feel like I've been gone so long that they probably won't recognize me! I promise to take an extended time off when I get back. I need some family time and we need some "us" time. Sadly, I gotta run, but happily the next time you hear from me I'll be at our front door. Can't wait to see you Red! I will be home soon - I promise. Kiss the kids for me.

Love always,

John


End file.
